I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.