what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize