I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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