I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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