We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Vodka?
Forever.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
