i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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