i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
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She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize