The maid of honor just puked.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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