How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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