I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
