Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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