i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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