I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
