It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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