you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
