So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
