then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
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Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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