I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
