So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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