My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize