ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.

  Fav 20 4469 1049

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out

  Fav 8 5047 1180

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.

  Fav 20 7647 1288

  share tweet
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.

  Fav 12 2812 1465

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night

  Fav 4 1768 708

  share tweet
  

• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.

  Fav 4 1074 650

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.

  Fav 6 1992 756

  share tweet
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.

  Fav 16 1466 716

  share tweet
  

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.

  Fav 2 760 1411

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there

  Fav 0 489 683

  share tweet
  

• (432): View more from Texas

  Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like

  Fav 2 773 554

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (616): View more from Michigan

  Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.

  Fav 2 664 354

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.

  Fav 9 540 235

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.

  Fav 2 26 84

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (510): View more from California

  Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.

  Fav 0 58 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize