Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
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My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.