Im at strip club and am horny
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.