I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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