It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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