she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap