just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night