i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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