im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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