...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Please, let me fuck your mom
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
