ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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