it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
