Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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