Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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