I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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