He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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