its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need a beard to bite.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
