You made me cry and you don't even care
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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