i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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