I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
