yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Someone came in the potted fern
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
