I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
sex in a hospital.. check
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
