we have pet lesbian snakes
I accidentally had phone sex last night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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