Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
