So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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