K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize