four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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