and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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