if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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