It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
