I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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