I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
this just has baby written all over it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize