capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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