watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
BRING THE BAGELS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
