We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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