Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
