he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
