his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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