At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The air was thick with penises
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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