You can't special order awesome
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize