I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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