I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
