I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
